Well Jermar already called it so I might as well do it.
This weekend I went to a couple events with my boyfriend and his family. I didn’t think that I could possibly ever get any more awkward but it’s official. I deserve an award. It’s that serious. It was just a completely new environment for me. It’s just not what I’m used to. I’m used to laid back, cookouts with low music because of where I live but his family is anything but laid back. I like it but I’m just not used to it. Although I was trying to hide it, my body language was just painting the most vivid picture of how uncomfortable I really was. It was just that I couldn’t find a familiar face and I didn’t want to follow Jermar around like a lost puppy. I really hate doing that. But as I saw a couple more familiar faces, I calmed down a little bit and it was a lot of fun. There were so many people. And after I changed out of that dress and those wedges, I felt so much better about life. I wish I could have stayed but of course, someone always has something else for me to do.
He was introducing me to everyone and they just kept telling me how pretty I was and telling him how pretty I was. Almost everyone I met told me that I was beautiful. And if anyone knows me, they know how I feel about compliments and how awkward I am when people compliment me. Compliments are always nice to hear but I just never know how to react. I can never take them just as they are. But w.e. That’s that.
So the next day, Sunday, we went to his cousin’s graduation party. (Yet again, the uncomfortable aura that just exudes off of my body was ridiculous.) I mean my family celebrates events like graduation and stuff, but nothing like his family does. They were soo extremely proud and you can just see it in everyone in the room. And there was so much culture in one room. It’s like when they hear music, they can’t help but dance. And they don’t stop either. Everyone was so upbeat and festive and enjoying each other’s company. Even the little ones were on the dance floor. There’s no being shy. And I tell Krystina all the time, like I wish I grew up in something like that. I mean I know my nationalities, but we’re so Americanized that I’m not in touch with any of it and neither is my family. I just wish I had that.
Then there was the fact that Jermar wanted me to dance. I understand completely. And I like to bother him and tell him that I can’t dance or that I don’t dance but I know I can dance. I’ve been dancing since I was a little one. I’m just shy about it and I’ve been that way since I was younger. I won’t even dance in front of my mom. And big crowds make me nervous. But to add to that, I was already uncomfortable physically and mentally with everything going on and those stupid ass heels I had on. If I would’ve danced, I swear I would’ve had a panic attack. That sounds dramatic but I am beyond serious. I just need time to allow myself to get comfortable with everything that’s going on and I’ll be good. I just need time. BUT Jermar man! This kid has to be the cutest thing ever when he dances! And his mom just watches him and smiles. She’s soo proud! It’s adorable.
All in all, I am definitely happy I went. I had a lot of fun this weekend. A lot of new experiences. I met a lot of people. Hung out with a bunch of people I wouldn’t usually hang out with. I had a good weekend :)